Christmas- so awful and so beautiful

It is that waiting time again- advent. The darkest time of the year where I live. This calls for lots of candles, christmas music, we might bake some cookies etc. I love this wait. I decorate more and more througout December and I totally enjoy it! When I was a grumpykid my mother decorated just before Christmas, but I think that is waaay to late. Christmas ornaments, candles etc should be enjoyed as long as possible. More is better!

My dream Christmas is the Disney kind, at least as close as one can get! The thought of a happy family together is simply to intriguing. Hopefully when grumpykids have grown and have a family of their own we will manage to produce a Disneylike Christmas.

Our own Christmas is a bit like Disney (when it comes to decorating at least) but mostly it is like that "Christmas with the family you don`t get that well along with".
I am convinced I am not alone about this.
I hate pretending things are fine but what can one do? It is Christmas and then you just have to pretend, right?

Besides all the obvious awful things about Christmas- poverty, unfairness, loneliness-  I think pretending things are fine for a week or more is just too much. But still- I do it every year.

I do it because I love the idea of Christmas- sharing, kindness, beeing with your family, meeting friends, enjoying some time off, there might be snow, good food, decorating the house etc etc. (I am not mentioning Jesus- I am not a christian.)

As you see I am full of mixed feelings. I think I build up big expectations through advent and when Christmas is here- the finale- it always disappoints.

Today I have been decorating and as always it was a joy:)  Can not wait to continue! All our Christmas stuff is in the loft- a room I am not so fond of anymore after Mr Grumpy spotted a rat there....

Rat poison is thouroghly placed- and we haven`t heard or seen any more from the rat, but I am sure it is up there somewhere.

Enjoy advent- maybe Christmas will be a good one this year!